malas punya pasal

I am super swamped with last minute assigbments and report, just ONE week before my final year exam! CRAZY!

"busy sampai kan benafas pun nada masa" YES, THAT BUSY!

hahaha ok over, but you get the point, I have never been seated infront of my laptop from the AM until the next AM doing my assignments(half assing it btw... sighh lazy lazy) instead of watching useless but fun tv series.

I have decided to save my brain juice for educational purposes only until my exams are over, so if I look/talk stupider than usual within this one month period.... that's not me.

bad news - i wont be able to run until exams are over because i know i'll be too tired (lack of sleep. sheesh who needs sleep when you can study, RIGHT?!)

some things i"ll never know

I am the type of person who believes that when someone loves you, they aren't supposed to get angry at you for all the petty little stupid things you do (or didn't do) and finds you cute regardless of what...

so when someone told me off today.... I packed my things and left without saying a word........... because I cannot handle feeling unloved. :(

being the second child kicked off that narcissist trait in me- craves for undivided attention from certain people. But sooner or later they'll just feel suffocated by my constant need for love. THIS is why most of my relationship don't work. haha.

I'm glad I can't easily break up from my family or else.... oh boy I'm definitely gonna break up with them the second they don't pay attention to me.

here's a bonus photo of me when I was younger... throwing tantrums like a spoiled child... my mom said it was because I didn't get any presents... BECAUSE IT WASN'T MY BIRTHDAY! But I didn;t know that... hehe..

(I''ve been "glamorizing" this photo as my Facebook's display picture only because this is the only photo I have in this laptop)

HANNIBAL IS SUCH A GOOD TV SHOW!

I've been having this intense migraine for a few days now.. I used to have it all the time way back then... but it has been SO long so when it hit me all I could do was curl in bed and bury myself underneath a pile of duvet. I couldn't even bring myself to check my phone (which was on the super low brightness setting) to reply this sorta cute guy's texts. I even get nauseous when scrolling down my twitter/instagram feed!

Maybe it's all that suppressed anger building up inside me because of ____________. It's amazing how my 5'2 frame can hold in so much anger. ok.. maybe I'm just 5'1.... not the point! hahaha.

p/s: I am not ready to deal with the matter of the hearts. can I just be fine on my own like what I've been doing for the past few months? (BUT CUTE GUYS ARE EVERYWHERE HELLO HELLO HELLO hahah)

Breaking apart all this love in my heart

Don't you just hate it when you get up from your seat because you feel the need to go to the fridge and drink h20 but you see the yellow/orange Pokka ice lemon tea staring at you and you grab it without thinking and go back to your seat and gulp at least half of it and then only you'd feel guilty?

Or does that only happen to me? and I've already brushed my teeth!

my yet again another sleepless night, this time I think it's because of the allergy reaction on my right shoulder arm from my "mini expedition" in the jungle yesterday. Really was not expecting it to be an actual hike! on the bright side -- my only thigh workout for this week.

p/s: title is a reference to one of the Used's song. bugs me that I cannot go to their concert in KL next month because 1) final year project 2) exams 3) i need to save $$ for next year

kaka tiwah.

Hi.

I woke up even before Subuh tadi. only because I slept really early last night because I was tired from "helping" nene with her bunga(and from a super heavy dinner). I was the transportation manager --- ahhahahaha. Nene did most of the work, whilst I... played around with the trolley and moved some vases... eh i mean pasu. (vases sounds so small, and pasu sounds so big and heavy)

I ended with ripped shorts, tons of cuts on my arms and legs, dirt all over me(ie face, nails, baju, phone,kaki) susuran on my hands and mosquitoe bites. and my nene was unscathed.... omg. my nene is magical...

I have been a big sister all my life, never a younger sister. Siok kah jadi kaka ani?

1) damit2 sudah kana suruh jaga adi, buat susu sampai tangan tekana air panas, cuci jubur kalau beria(hahaha this one tipu!!!), bagi mandi adi2. Inda dapat join cousin2..mestilah cousin jalan,time tu balum cool kan jalan with fwensss, sebab mesti jaga adi, time tu ada pulang amah (hi aunty lydia we miss and love you forever) tapi stilllllll......

2) there was this time when my aunty balik her kampung in philipines, so who was nominated to be the amah? me ofcourse... tapi that time I was at that iski kan help my mom to do anything and everything. Cuci pinggan and then panic sebab washing liquid termasuk dalam ikan yang berandam!!, cuci sayur, mop lantai time midnight while my two pigtails..hihihi *shy. tukang kamas meja time everyone sudah makan etc etc lah

but when I was 12 my aunty went back for good... I was amah by default once again. Menerikah everyone's baju. every sunday ok,dari pagi sampai patang, sampai pipih jubur/sakit belakang ulehnya/angus tangan sebab terpigang trikah. hahah genius. used to do it every wednesday night as well sebab zaman2 Kristal Astro and Charmed. so, spot dapan tv every wednesday at 8pm memang I yang punya~
and then menyasah(+menjamur) USING MANUAL WASHING MACHINE (and balik2 electrocuted sebab temasuk extension plug dalam sink :'))))
laapastu kalau kelahi sama abang/adi I'd threaten not to sasahkan baju durang *evil laugh* tapi at the end of the wash cycle, I'd wash their clothes anyway sebab kesian kan durang inda pandai*ehem* malas belajar menyasah at that time! because all they do is watch tv and wake up late/.. *angry

When I was 18 kali.. my parents finally bought an automatic washing machine and I remember crying myself to sleep that night... waseh so dramatic, but only because I WAS SO HAPPY! hehehehe

3)But I was never the cook for my siblings, sebab takut api. hehehe so my parents never had to worry about me burning the house down.

4) masatu masih ugama and SELALU SKIP UGAMA (ie: three time in a week saja datang) sebab sudah lalah from morning school, lapastu kan menyasah/kamas rumah lagi kan, so to avoid doing that at night(imagine hantu pocong standing next to me whilst menyasah baju eee takut. sebab the machine was outside kan..) I skipped ugama school and did everything in the afternoon. drama lah kan masatu sebab malas and selalu kana marah mama/bapa. tapi it's for my own good jua sebab Alhamdullillah I graduated ugama school with pangkat satu. kiss kiss ama apa.

5) walhal part urut mama/bapa lagi.. sebab mama working full time/jadi amah and cook jua so mestilah sakit2 badan kan and my siblings were too young to urut mama so when my daddy took everyone out for chocolates and ice cream I had to stay and urut my mom. was sad, biasalah kan kanak2 mesti mau ikut jalan tapi kuatkan hati sebab kesian kan mama... in the end i got chocolate as well heheh yay. and my mom loved me extra that day. kisssssss

And macam2 lagi lah especially when I got my driving license but I am too lazy to list down everything. and because I have to go shower and get ready for penggilan at 10 am.

Now at 22... I am the laziest not the best calon menantu of all times because.... sudah time damit ngalih and had to be the grown up. I am now thankful that I get to be a lazy 'kid' and be the boss or as my baby brother likes to call me... "MASTER" wahhahaha.


Note: this is not and mengungkit post. this is a post explaining why it is siok to be a kaka!